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Jul 8, 2012
(may contain explicit)
The moment firework was blast off, it only live for a few second..people will be awed by the beautiful colours of it's sparks. when it's done and disappear, people will walk away and not even remember the final sparks it left. that's how i feel regarding a few shitty events that just happened. the length of time for happiness is like fireworks..u could be so happy, that it feels soo good till it goes bad. I have been here many many times before, but this time it was the worst blow i've ever took. standing there watching and was planning and hoping it was supposed to be me. being there like a cactus in a flower garden and not entirely liked, faking the hurtful smile. swallowing the bitterness and holding the fking tears.. it hurts terribly that u wish u want to go blind. it was indeed a first time in my whole life that i had to take my eyes away, ran to the toilet & cry d fcuk out. trembling alone n thousands of pictures playing in front of my burning eyes...shiiit. years of waiting, years of walking together; the ups n downs were entirely washed away like when you are pooping. the hard works n waiting were flushed away without even been look at. to make it simple, i feel like shhhh..tt!!
I'm a cry baby and you should know that. I'm freaking needy and you should know that. I have no one else but you and you clearly know that.
Maybe it's true, i'm emotional, i'm problematic. because i have nothing to be proud of.
I still remember every words, every promises, every sweet moment that's worth remembering, but i doubt that you remember them too. yes, u & i are different..
I'm not here to blame anyone. It was entirely my fault ever since the beginning. I have nowhere to share and let go of these shitty feeling i'm having and still can't shake it off.
Point to ponder: Always follow and listen to your first choice. cuz if you didn't u'll just end up broken down in agony.
To sum it up, thank you to the tear jerking text, a 'feels like hit by a truck' scene and not needed there ambiance; that i have no appetite n cries every freaking minutes.
The moment firework was blast off, it only live for a few second..people will be awed by the beautiful colours of it's sparks. when it's done and disappear, people will walk away and not even remember the final sparks it left. that's how i feel regarding a few shitty events that just happened. the length of time for happiness is like fireworks..u could be so happy, that it feels soo good till it goes bad. I have been here many many times before, but this time it was the worst blow i've ever took. standing there watching and was planning and hoping it was supposed to be me. being there like a cactus in a flower garden and not entirely liked, faking the hurtful smile. swallowing the bitterness and holding the fking tears.. it hurts terribly that u wish u want to go blind. it was indeed a first time in my whole life that i had to take my eyes away, ran to the toilet & cry d fcuk out. trembling alone n thousands of pictures playing in front of my burning eyes...shiiit. years of waiting, years of walking together; the ups n downs were entirely washed away like when you are pooping. the hard works n waiting were flushed away without even been look at. to make it simple, i feel like shhhh..tt!!
I'm a cry baby and you should know that. I'm freaking needy and you should know that. I have no one else but you and you clearly know that.
Maybe it's true, i'm emotional, i'm problematic. because i have nothing to be proud of.
I still remember every words, every promises, every sweet moment that's worth remembering, but i doubt that you remember them too. yes, u & i are different..
I'm not here to blame anyone. It was entirely my fault ever since the beginning. I have nowhere to share and let go of these shitty feeling i'm having and still can't shake it off.
Point to ponder: Always follow and listen to your first choice. cuz if you didn't u'll just end up broken down in agony.
To sum it up, thank you to the tear jerking text, a 'feels like hit by a truck' scene and not needed there ambiance; that i have no appetite n cries every freaking minutes.
I didn't bring any gift to give you, cuz i've prepared something much sweeter.
I didn't have the chance to congratulate u.
Do you know how terrible i feel?
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