I am a little dragon

here goes:

I went to the toilet and left my book, when i enter, cutie bun-bun was reading "Mmmm..chocolate" recipe book.

she said she wanted to bake muffin for her bunny friends. Cutie bun-bun was too concentrate reading the book.

Then, i look over the bed and Teddy was lying comfortably while reading 1001 cupcakes.

he told me he wanted to eat cupcake badly and made his too cute teddy face :3.

I continue writing the recipes and suddenly Teddy wanted to help. I told him to write them well.

They were too excited rummaging through every books and i told them off. So Teddy, Cutie bunbun n Mashimeme went up to bed and happily looked through the books. When i turned around, they were all sound asleep and seems like Mashimeme was drooling on the cake picture.

At last, i took a nap myself n dreaming bout cakes wonderland~~ sleep well my lil minions~~

HAHAHHAHAHA!!!! that was fun~~ :P

i'm re-writing the recipes that i've collected. i wanted to make egg tarts but need to buy the mould first. hmmm...i wanna bake something. dad told me last night that if i'm too obsess with baking then bake a cake for him on the 19th of every month. mom laughed miserably so did i. well dad, i'll bake if u want to but don't complaint when your weight goes up~~

today i sort out my bedroom(again) and aaalll the treasures in the room. whatever is useless i just throw them away (mostly papers). surprisingly this time i managed to totally clean the room. no more ship wrecked :D!!! despite a few baby spiders climbed on me, the room was not that 'ancient'. no dead geckos or cockroaches mean my room is still clean haha!

my fever seems to start again ugh....due to that, dad won't allow me to go anywhere till i am well enough.. /sad!! :(

i made congee for (supposedly) lunch but when i finished cooking it was 5 p.m!! no wonder my stomach was grumbling like mad!! was looking at kitchen aid's website n yes i was drooling (literally). i want them T_T!!! so does mommy haha..

on wednesday morning i couldn't take it anymore, can't even swallow fluid. i even cry in pain when i drink, sob². so by lunch time mum went upstairs n check up on me, she went frantic about my throat n the next thing i realised, i was in the car on the way to the hospital. as usual dad is the one who's worry goes beyond the normal limit (that's what makes me love bout u dad, huehue). went to DEMC and the doc check, i had tonsillitis n fever at the same time. He refer to Putrajaya Hospital since 'they' said Putrajaya Hospital's ENT department is one of the best. I waited at the emergency clinic with dad, i got to lean on him ( haaaa ;D) [i'm not father-complex!!]. The paramedic took my blood n i totally hate that part, like extremely hate it!! cuz my veins r small n it's quite hard to find it. it took him some time to do so n my blood was so stubborn to flow out. (hahah)

after that we went to the ENT department n wait for my queue. the doctor made the check up n all n resulting in teary eyes for a few times, she was lucky i didn't kick her (she's good but it was painful). the doc decided to admitted me n on we go to the ward~~ i was place in surgical ward and all the other patience went through operation except me. hihihi. the nurses are nice n caring. :)! the only complication was my IV gave lots of problem. it seems that my blood clotting rate is too fast n whenever IV was at halt, it will clot a.s.a.p. on the 3rd day my IV won't go through and rejected the anti-biotic. it was so painful that i wish i could throw the IV with it stands out of the building hahaha. the nurse took off my IV that night cuz the needle is not in my vein anymore n my hand was puffy. huk3!!!

aaah, the worst night ever was the first night, i couldn't sleep at all. the doc told me to swallow my saliva n drink lots of water cuz my temp stayed 38.8-38.9 from the morning till late at night. i kept on coughing n in a grave pain. Crying was no use, i just waant my mama at that time. whenever a nurse visit or whatsoever thing came i would be half conscious and the image was vague. i was able to answer n do things but when i truly wake up i don't remember. @_@ scary. my agony subdue after a few shots of antibiotic, 4 IV bottle n 1 large bottle of water being gulped forcefully. T__T!!! after lunch i was able to swallow with less pain n i could walk around. my temp went down to 38. mom & dad came everyday :D! angah & family, ateh, bg.jat n d lil minion too. giat friends came n also teddy :3.

it was indeed a not-so wonderful start for new year xD!! my voice still muffle and my mood is still like yo-yo. when i wanna do something that required a bit of hard work dad will immediately told me off. :(! i can't even cycle my bike. due to my stubbornness i did cycle :P and resulted in short of breath and light headed that night. i received a long lecture from daddy :(! even this morning i wanted to help around the garden, he only allow me to water the plant ~.~

afterwards, the only thing i do was, sat on the gazebo eating...banana, talking to a...lazy-eyed frog...oh i feel so pathetic. hahahha!!!

the good outcome of me staying in the hospital is my -normal human being- body clock is back to normal. i wake up early, i would be hungry by 7.30am, 12.30 pm and before 8 pm. if i didn't eat on time i will b having gastric. =.=!! mom was delighted hahaha! so every morning wanted or not i have to wake up and eat something~~ after 9pm or so i won't be able to eat anything. water consumption...3 liters per day ;O! i'm a walking water tank, who want's some ;3.

ooo, i've downloaded aaalll E.S Posthumus album (finally). previously i only have Unearthed album now i have all 3~~ E.S Posthumus is one talented band, they are GENIUS! sadly, the 3rd album Makara is the last album :(. because of Franz death, Helmut decided not to be active anymore. huuu. I love E.S P cuz their music express so many emotions and it's unique~!!! I could listen to them many² times and will never get boored~~ Nara was the first song i heard and since then i hunted down E.S P~ hehe. Makara is indeed another splendid collection, Listen to Manju and u just feel like smilling~~ :D

2 weeks of whining and struggling with my viral fever, this is the most tormented moment.

mom came into the room n said : "wanna sell them?" ...he..he..i wish mama...

oh new year i don't feel anything cuz i already celebrated awal muharram~~ ;)

anyway, lets forget bout that. today i'm gonna talk about missing...

i miss reading and engulfing story books/novels all day long and didn't realize what's happening around me..

i miss listening to all daddy's classical music and memorize all the title and its rhythm. while listening i would imagine the ambiance of the music and sometimes act like i was the maestro, hahah!

i miss being a brat w mama n ayah..

i miss pampering myself...

i miss my sisters n brother...

i miss drawing...

i miss beautifying myself...

i miss my friends who appreciate me as i appreciate them...

i miss going out and have fun

i miss the warmth of home...

i miss the people i love..

i miss lying on the ground at amphitheater and staring the night sky...

i miss my RO comrades like insanely miss them a lot! /sob

i miss ME..

i miss my old life..

i miss everything that i miss...

what i feels right now is not sad but nostalgic...i am imagining myself sitting at the living room in Johor, listening to Cavalleria rusticana. such a relaxing melody, it'll make u want to dance and flow like a breeze~~ though the story behind the song is quite tragic. "jealousy kills". so, sitting on the comfy sofa, i would listen to the music and read my book. i would curl like a baby in one-seater sofa n be one with the book. i would only bulged from the seat when mama calls or toilet trip..hehe...siigh...i miss the good ol days...

my god,i'm at your mercy. I'm not at ease. when is it time for break? I would like to stop! I can't breathe anymore..

that's the translation for my fb status..adieu :)

duit raya pn dpt byk, nyihihihi! gmp gave us about 12 days of break n i already wasted 9 days of it! ZOMGBBQSAUCE!!! my homework is not yet done, wuaaa! oh n in 9 days i've gained around 2-3kg O.O!! mama cakap, klau xnk naik bdn, jgn blk rumah. huhuhu pedih punye ayat lol. ah my baju raya! this year it's greenish yellow n grayish-blue-purple. is it my eyes or i do look BIG in that colour? everyone who ate my cookies said they r delicious~~ mwah mwah to them n special mwah to all who helped! :D.

dh terbiase asyik buat cakes n cookies, terasa boring if i didn't bake anything. so rummaging through mama's cooking books and watching nigela's n anna's video. i decided to make some treats for everyone at home. i made chocolate indulgence cake n cheese surfeit. yes, the "cheese surfeit" really sound exaggerate, but u've got to taste it then u'll agree with the name. ;3!!

on tuesday, all 5 of us gather at home n we had lunch together. kak ngah is in johor, she couldnt join tho huhu. i made my cheese surfeit that day and i smelled like cheese for the whole day lol. semua puji n with few feedback it satisfied me. phew first attempt on making such food. haha. the next day we had lunch at along's, i brought my chocolate indulgence n finished making the mousse over there. the result is yet another satisfaction. everyone was nagging when can they eat the cake. especially ashraff, like every 10 minutes "maksuuuu, nak makan kek" n i would answer "sabar, xmasak lg" huhuhu. when the cake is ready, mama,ayah n ashraff meraasmikan ahah. i'm happy with the result, the ganache is beautiful n superbly delicous (for my tastebud). setelah berhempas pulas w the self-made whip cream, i managed to make mousse n ganache with it. kak cik n abg.din said it taste better then secret recipe, that makes me smile to the ears. hehehehe!! along (who's so fussy about cake) ate 2 slices so did ashraff~~ ashraff loves my ganache n he kept on poking the cake's ganache lol. ayah said it's delicious :D. oh imran ate them tooo~~ bg.jat, kak farah n along ate my cheese surfeit like 2-3 times xD!!! alhamdulillah my products taste good! :D!!

now time to worry about my homework and the excessive fats i gained with this not so long holiday. time to really exercise n watch my diet. last night we had nasi ayam as lunch, cake as dessert n domino's pizza as dinner. explain that! hhahahha! wanted to fast today but that idea goes down the drain. hahahhahahahah!!!!! ok afifah, go detox ur body n exercise nooaaww~~!

here's the pic of my choco indulgence n cheese surfeit~

Your tears pour down your cheeks

Without reasons, they pour down

No one knows that inside your heart

A storm of glass fragments is raging

The wounds become an illness

All doors become a wall

Doesn't it hurt?

Keeping anyone from knowing you

Left you choke on your breath

Forced you to choose the end

Without reason for you to stand in this world

Without a choice of the road to walk back

Your breath would probably end before it's time

Wound...scars...tears...flowing..

You cry, though you try to run away.

You're wandering through the abyss

When you're walking in the dark

When you're caught in the dark

When all the doors in the world close

Do you feel suffocated?

Are you still dreaming?

Sleeping? Breathing?

Are you measuring all the tears you've shed?

Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn't it sad?

Maybe you wake up drenched in sweat at night

Is your consciousness crawling on the floor?

Are you thinking it's the end?

The scars on your broken body,

the tears you've shed that can't be erase.

Will be with you forever.

Do you have wounds?

Do you have scars?

Are you wandering through the dark?

Faith...Destiny...Love..

Am i still beautiful inside?

When can they treat me fairly?

When can I stop faking?

When can I not shed my tears anymore?

When will I live?

When can I really be happy?

i'll to compress all that happen for the past 3 months.

first of, i got in giatmara putrajaya n doing confectionary & bakery. the class started on the 5th of july. frankly, the place, the ambiance are TOTALLY something i would never imagine i could be in. i don't mean it as a bad thing. but it's just too different. i like that place. the community area feels totally not in malaysia, the buildings, the parks n other things save all the mamaks. haha.

the view behind the shops area.

our lovely shops/class

i've learn various recipes. cakes, bun, cookies and even drinks. made lots of new friends and they r awesomely crazy xD!! most of my time in GMP were fill with laughters. I'm thankful to god that finally i could be in the field that i was dyingly wanted to do so. i've wasted like 2 years to find this route's exit :D

in a week i was able to make chocolate moist cake and till now i'm 'obsessed' in making chocolate moist cake. xD. i even sell choco moist now~~ hihihihihi

my very first cake

i made this for piqa's b'day. :)

n my pretty pink cupcakes

unbelievably for 2 months i've gained lots of experience n knowledge about pastry. oh n successfully i lost quite some weight! haa i cycle + walk to my class..hihihi. something that afifah mohammad would never do in her life before. lmao.

here is my bicycle

the other thing is i was able to wake up at 6.30 am n sleep almost 12 am every day. another impossible thing for afifah to do so. hahhaha!!! one thing bout me is if i like/love something, no matter what i'll endure everything that's in the way as long as it makes me happy n i am satisfied with it. n this petit girl has NOT miss class yet except 1 day cuz i was having bad fever. another 4 months to go n i hope nothing bad will happen. i wish everything will go well n no stress anymore :D!!!

my lovely crazy comrades ♥

hehehe. this post i wanted to share an article about "LOVE". This topic was what i learned when i took positive psychology, the best subject evaaa~~ Title: Love and well being; chapter five.

i'll just explain in brief, copy paste notes lolol~ for the girls n boys out there, when u think u've fall in love, especially the one who's madly in love....make sure u made the right choice. :) don't end up regretting later on.