I am a little dragon

not a really happy month of the year..tho it's my birthday but it's been nothing since few years back. as far as i can remember...i always cry n feels so down on my birthday..n this year would be the 3rd year of it...sometimes i wonder when i can cry out of happiness? i'm 21 but i'll never get treated like one...tho my wish came true, i was able to escape ucsi. but i wasted 1 year of NOTHING there...screw d uni. i've been home for 2-3weeks. went to settle the withdrawal. it does take quite sometime to really settle it off. just give me sometimes n we can move on with it..sheesh...i don't hv transportation n i even have to pack my stuffssssss from the hostel on my own. up n down the lift on my OWN! it's been the same since i moved in notts..no one was so freaking free to take me home..i still remember going back home w taxi w all my stuff..n always moving in on my own...when i get to b independent on my own n i'll b off track then everyone was so freaking free to bother bout my life...sucks..for 20 years of my life i was a girl who will nvr swear except screw u, or go die or stupid/moron. but i've passed my limits n all d dirty words escaped my mouth, w no censorship.
my body ache, my heart feels so heavy n my eyes sting...i dont know for what reason i feel this way because it's always been this way..always n perhaps forever......