I am a little dragon

anyway, lets forget bout that. today i'm gonna talk about missing...

i miss reading and engulfing story books/novels all day long and didn't realize what's happening around me..

i miss listening to all daddy's classical music and memorize all the title and its rhythm. while listening i would imagine the ambiance of the music and sometimes act like i was the maestro, hahah!

i miss being a brat w mama n ayah..

i miss pampering myself...

i miss my sisters n brother...

i miss drawing...

i miss beautifying myself...

i miss my friends who appreciate me as i appreciate them...

i miss going out and have fun

i miss the warmth of home...

i miss the people i love..

i miss lying on the ground at amphitheater and staring the night sky...

i miss my RO comrades like insanely miss them a lot! /sob

i miss ME..

i miss my old life..

i miss everything that i miss...

what i feels right now is not sad but nostalgic...i am imagining myself sitting at the living room in Johor, listening to Cavalleria rusticana. such a relaxing melody, it'll make u want to dance and flow like a breeze~~ though the story behind the song is quite tragic. "jealousy kills". so, sitting on the comfy sofa, i would listen to the music and read my book. i would curl like a baby in one-seater sofa n be one with the book. i would only bulged from the seat when mama calls or toilet trip..hehe...siigh...i miss the good ol days...

my god,i'm at your mercy. I'm not at ease. when is it time for break? I would like to stop! I can't breathe anymore..

that's the translation for my fb status..adieu :)

duit raya pn dpt byk, nyihihihi! gmp gave us about 12 days of break n i already wasted 9 days of it! ZOMGBBQSAUCE!!! my homework is not yet done, wuaaa! oh n in 9 days i've gained around 2-3kg O.O!! mama cakap, klau xnk naik bdn, jgn blk rumah. huhuhu pedih punye ayat lol. ah my baju raya! this year it's greenish yellow n grayish-blue-purple. is it my eyes or i do look BIG in that colour? everyone who ate my cookies said they r delicious~~ mwah mwah to them n special mwah to all who helped! :D.

dh terbiase asyik buat cakes n cookies, terasa boring if i didn't bake anything. so rummaging through mama's cooking books and watching nigela's n anna's video. i decided to make some treats for everyone at home. i made chocolate indulgence cake n cheese surfeit. yes, the "cheese surfeit" really sound exaggerate, but u've got to taste it then u'll agree with the name. ;3!!

on tuesday, all 5 of us gather at home n we had lunch together. kak ngah is in johor, she couldnt join tho huhu. i made my cheese surfeit that day and i smelled like cheese for the whole day lol. semua puji n with few feedback it satisfied me. phew first attempt on making such food. haha. the next day we had lunch at along's, i brought my chocolate indulgence n finished making the mousse over there. the result is yet another satisfaction. everyone was nagging when can they eat the cake. especially ashraff, like every 10 minutes "maksuuuu, nak makan kek" n i would answer "sabar, xmasak lg" huhuhu. when the cake is ready, mama,ayah n ashraff meraasmikan ahah. i'm happy with the result, the ganache is beautiful n superbly delicous (for my tastebud). setelah berhempas pulas w the self-made whip cream, i managed to make mousse n ganache with it. kak cik n abg.din said it taste better then secret recipe, that makes me smile to the ears. hehehehe!! along (who's so fussy about cake) ate 2 slices so did ashraff~~ ashraff loves my ganache n he kept on poking the cake's ganache lol. ayah said it's delicious :D. oh imran ate them tooo~~ bg.jat, kak farah n along ate my cheese surfeit like 2-3 times xD!!! alhamdulillah my products taste good! :D!!

now time to worry about my homework and the excessive fats i gained with this not so long holiday. time to really exercise n watch my diet. last night we had nasi ayam as lunch, cake as dessert n domino's pizza as dinner. explain that! hhahahha! wanted to fast today but that idea goes down the drain. hahahhahahahah!!!!! ok afifah, go detox ur body n exercise nooaaww~~!

here's the pic of my choco indulgence n cheese surfeit~

Your tears pour down your cheeks

Without reasons, they pour down

No one knows that inside your heart

A storm of glass fragments is raging

The wounds become an illness

All doors become a wall

Doesn't it hurt?

Keeping anyone from knowing you

Left you choke on your breath

Forced you to choose the end

Without reason for you to stand in this world

Without a choice of the road to walk back

Your breath would probably end before it's time

Wound...scars...tears...flowing..

You cry, though you try to run away.

You're wandering through the abyss

When you're walking in the dark

When you're caught in the dark

When all the doors in the world close

Do you feel suffocated?

Are you still dreaming?

Sleeping? Breathing?

Are you measuring all the tears you've shed?

Hope is a paper boat that sinks, isn't it sad?

Maybe you wake up drenched in sweat at night

Is your consciousness crawling on the floor?

Are you thinking it's the end?

The scars on your broken body,

the tears you've shed that can't be erase.

Will be with you forever.

Do you have wounds?

Do you have scars?

Are you wandering through the dark?

Faith...Destiny...Love..

Am i still beautiful inside?

When can they treat me fairly?

When can I stop faking?

When can I not shed my tears anymore?

When will I live?

When can I really be happy?

i'll to compress all that happen for the past 3 months.

first of, i got in giatmara putrajaya n doing confectionary & bakery. the class started on the 5th of july. frankly, the place, the ambiance are TOTALLY something i would never imagine i could be in. i don't mean it as a bad thing. but it's just too different. i like that place. the community area feels totally not in malaysia, the buildings, the parks n other things save all the mamaks. haha.

the view behind the shops area.

our lovely shops/class

i've learn various recipes. cakes, bun, cookies and even drinks. made lots of new friends and they r awesomely crazy xD!! most of my time in GMP were fill with laughters. I'm thankful to god that finally i could be in the field that i was dyingly wanted to do so. i've wasted like 2 years to find this route's exit :D

in a week i was able to make chocolate moist cake and till now i'm 'obsessed' in making chocolate moist cake. xD. i even sell choco moist now~~ hihihihihi

my very first cake

i made this for piqa's b'day. :)

n my pretty pink cupcakes

unbelievably for 2 months i've gained lots of experience n knowledge about pastry. oh n successfully i lost quite some weight! haa i cycle + walk to my class..hihihi. something that afifah mohammad would never do in her life before. lmao.

here is my bicycle

the other thing is i was able to wake up at 6.30 am n sleep almost 12 am every day. another impossible thing for afifah to do so. hahhaha!!! one thing bout me is if i like/love something, no matter what i'll endure everything that's in the way as long as it makes me happy n i am satisfied with it. n this petit girl has NOT miss class yet except 1 day cuz i was having bad fever. another 4 months to go n i hope nothing bad will happen. i wish everything will go well n no stress anymore :D!!!

my lovely crazy comrades ♥

hehehe. this post i wanted to share an article about "LOVE". This topic was what i learned when i took positive psychology, the best subject evaaa~~ Title: Love and well being; chapter five.

i'll just explain in brief, copy paste notes lolol~ for the girls n boys out there, when u think u've fall in love, especially the one who's madly in love....make sure u made the right choice. :) don't end up regretting later on.

Thus, I'm seriously gonna take good care of my precious body.

I made a timetable which i will try to follow it starting tonight.

I've been doing cardio exercise and its killing my knee. haha

For 20 minutes of cardiovascular and I sweat badly. phew, it's good tho.:D

I have to drink my green tea alternately or else I will have problem going to the toilet.LOL

Dad told me to reduce drinking green tea cuz the tea has no sugar and I will be weak without sugar.huhu [since i don't like drinking sweet drink, my source of liquid is just plain water n green tea,lols]

My flower seeds are planted i'm waiting for them to grow and move them to their plots.

Beside cardio exercise, I dance bit by bit to not loose my ability. I was a bit stiff when i did the slick move, well that's the result of 2 months of no dance.

Here is my pretty timetable..haha

While i was listening to gregory lemarchal song 'je suis en vie' this line caught my attention:

Today i woke up at 8.30 buuuut i continue to sleep and change my angle every 1/2 an hour after that hahaha n i finally woke up at 12 noon at the end of the bed! so i went to the bathroom, do the usual thing and went downstairs. i knew mama n ayah will blabber as usual ehehe. well i did try to wake up early ;(! i helped mama cleaning the kitchen n rearranging few stuffs. angah arrived here around 1++. i suddenly had the urge to clean my room! the over crowded messy room that mama doesn't even want to enter ;(!! so i totally clean the room like TOTALLY n i rummage the clothes box. I saw a very eeky fat silverfly!!! they r swarming in the box~!! i unloaded all the clothes, spray the box n my room like i'm killing some beast (haha) n throw the box outside. the clothes, dad told me to soak them in hot water. so i did. tomorrow gonna be laundry daaay~~~~~~~`

um so after like 4 hours of total cleansing. here is my room! unfortunately i didnt snap the 'before'pics huhu

Everything is in place. haha

D peaceful view outside

Mama, it's not messy anymore 0;D

Current books that i'm re-reading, body & face stuffs, medicine, make-up stuffs & my teddy ;D

My lovely hijabs

Eyeliners, specs, watch, eyeshadow, mirros ;D

one year stock :P

D view

Zoooom

D front (side) view