I am a little dragon

are the manga that i've read and waiting for the next episode argh..what makes me wanted to write bout them is simply because of the hero...yes..the cute/handsome/pretty reliable purrfect hero is always the factor :D

Kuroshitsuji :

Summary

everything is done with the uni and i am a free woman. i feel soo stress free *exhaleeee*
now i'm at home having so much to do ( supposedly helping mom n dad deal with all the unpacked stuff) and yet being doing nothing, except sleep and eat. haha. oh dont forget fighting with qeyla. I've been listing things to do for this very long break that for a year i didn't get to have more than a month. that's very heartwarming but brainkilling. above all the most important think i need is a car for easier movement since i don't want to burden dad with driving. i don't hv confident myself but when will i practice n rely on myself? another thing is the wanting of making cakes/cupcakes/cookies n such but i am too lazy to dig in the mountainous boxes outside under the porch. i was so high spirited to find mom's mixer (one fine day) but when i step outside, standing with both hand at my waist and looking at aaaallll the boxes. i feel like a big fat fluffy panda on my shoulder, how the heck can i find that little thing in this huge pile, i might get myself lost in it. so dream of making a cupcakes goes down the drain(atm) i've been wasting utilising my time with reading, yes i read...mangas.. :D. what saddened me is..all the mangas that interest me n i've read all of them are incomplete. so i have to wait for the next episode. that's like waiting for a baby to be born. yes, to that extend. the bed tho, is very tempting. even if i sleep till my head can't take it anymore sometimes it even shout 'hoi lazybum wake up!!' i still ignore the scream of agony. it freaking hurts when u overslept. with the summer heat (does m'sia hv summer?) that's resulting in me taking bath more than twice a day at HOME is a miracle. sometimes i dont even bother to take a bath so early in the morning at HOME, oh wait, i dont wake up early in the morning at HOME. haaha. even when i wake up at 10am is such a phenomenon to the household. i'm not lazy just taking things slow..hahaa.
i am waitng for the interview and the intake of my newly self-interest course, the confectionary n bakery. hopefully i'll get in (insyaallah). a 6 months course n 3 months practice. after that i have too many plans in my head. i evn started to draft (in my head) the shop layout..hohoho..
another thing i wanted to do is...work.. during the holiday. was thingking of alamanda since shah alam is not that far buuut to go back n forth from home is a big problem for me, because it's waste of time n fuel. i don't know yet, dad seems like half-hearted bout that plan. i know if i stay at ateh's house, both of them would be alone at home :(
it's a tough decision. i sound like some businessman making a hard decision. but it is for me. anyway, why can't they move to putrajaya instead :D. oh well, i think mom's coooking something tonight. that is rare. kak cik is on the way home, ON THE WAY. lol, no offence but they r slow. i can't wait to see both arina n arissa. aaww i miss imran. i miss his fats. haha. hmmm daddy was planning on going to putrajaya this week. yeay i can see imran n i can pinch his well stuffed fats. :D.

toodles.

We couldn't even measure the weight of our tears..if i counted the years back, it's been 7 years that i've seen all these ugly dramas...when will it end? being the last one is like being the black sheep. i've watched n heard everything that sometimes i feel it's better to shut this ears n eyes. there's unfairness, resentment, jealousy, selfishness, hatred, betrayal and revengeful...
what did we do that it became like this? what's gone wrong?

i miss to see a sincere happy face n i miss to laugh n smile with them wholeheartedly...

not a really happy month of the year..tho it's my birthday but it's been nothing since few years back. as far as i can remember...i always cry n feels so down on my birthday..n this year would be the 3rd year of it...sometimes i wonder when i can cry out of happiness? i'm 21 but i'll never get treated like one...tho my wish came true, i was able to escape ucsi. but i wasted 1 year of NOTHING there...screw d uni. i've been home for 2-3weeks. went to settle the withdrawal. it does take quite sometime to really settle it off. just give me sometimes n we can move on with it..sheesh...i don't hv transportation n i even have to pack my stuffssssss from the hostel on my own. up n down the lift on my OWN! it's been the same since i moved in notts..no one was so freaking free to take me home..i still remember going back home w taxi w all my stuff..n always moving in on my own...when i get to b independent on my own n i'll b off track then everyone was so freaking free to bother bout my life...sucks..for 20 years of my life i was a girl who will nvr swear except screw u, or go die or stupid/moron. but i've passed my limits n all d dirty words escaped my mouth, w no censorship.
my body ache, my heart feels so heavy n my eyes sting...i dont know for what reason i feel this way because it's always been this way..always n perhaps forever......